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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Lebron Agency 2010

WARNING: The images below are graphic, and may be disturbing and offensive to some.



























Best dressed man on draft night = Wesley Johnson. Smooth jumpshot, smooth pants.




And then this, well, this is what it's all about. The glory of the draft, the happiness of a dream being realized.








(Good luck to Clippers and Knicks fans, Lebron will surely appreciate you photoshopping the right number onto his jersey)

As anyone who has bothered to be alive the last month or so can tell you, there is a rather large potential crop of 2010 free agents in the NBA.

Lebron
D-Wade
Bosh
Amar'e
Boozer
Joe Johnson
Rudy Gay (Restricted)
David Lee
Paul Pierce (Maybe)
Dirk (Sort-a-kinda)
Ray Allen

Brad Miller.

And like many of those with a pulse, you have probably engaged in some sort of debate as to the destination of these players for the next season. If you're reading from Cleveland, you definitely have. The entire league could be at a crossroads, and there are many mind-blowing scenarios that could materialize.

 The Bermuda Triangle comes to Miami. - Lebron, Wade, and Bosh actually join forces and head the most top-heavy team ever. I see guys on ESPN trying to say that winning is about a "team" and if those three play together with no one (because Bosh would most likely be acquired in sign-and-trade for Beasley, and Chalmers doesn't count) they wouldn't be able to accomplish anything. This is a lie. Those three could beat 12 guys on their own, they would be so good, that one could go sit on the bench at any time and the other two could maintain the lead. But, this is not realistic. The inevitable alpha-dog struggle would destroy them utterly, and the spotlight simply won't expand to fit three max guys.



Prediction for the Heat: Re-sign Wade, bring in Boozer, and use the sizable (Over $10 mil) in cap that should be left to fill in quality role-players. Instant contender

 The Knicks wait for next year. If I were a ridiculously talented free agent, leaving my team to go win elsewhere, I would never go to NYC. There's just too much pressure after years of tanking, shedding contracts, and general atrociousness for a player to handle. Even they realize this, to a degree. On the first day of free agency, The Knicks will be trying to convince Joe Johnson to join their team and entice Lebron. Iso-Joe will undoubtedly bring in Lebron, as LBJ would love to sit on the perimeter while JJ runs clear-outs all game, it fits his style perfectly. Johnson may honestly be the worst possible teammate for Lebron, aside from Eddy Curry. My thinking is that Johnson has enough intelligence to not sign into a losing situation, and latches on to a team with some sort of future (Nets???), saving himself, as Donnie Walsh turns his "Lebron Buttons" into Melonade-stands.

The above scenarios are probably irrelevant until James picks his team. Hopefully this does not take long, so Cleveland can work on a sign-and-trade for Bosh as early as possible. Because - Lebron James is coming back to Cleveland - he needs to win here. He needs to prove that HE, LEBRON JAMES built this team, and this city, captaining it to the highest level possible. There is no way he gives up on winning here, because if he bolts it shuts him out of the Kobe/MJ conversation, as those two fellas did not have to leave to win.

To quickly break down the King's other choices (In order of importance), and predict what will actually happen to those teams

Chicago - The roster would be incredible, as he would be playing alongside Rose, another max-guy, and a talented young cast. However, Joakim Noah does not like his dancing, so there is no way he plays for the Chi.
-Add Amar'e and Joe Johnson, still becoming an incredible team.

Miami - If the biggest three of all time can materialize, this destination has much more weight. If it happens, it's only a matter of time until Pat Riley claims the Lord of the Rings from Phil.
Re-sign Wade, add Boozer and Ray Allen.

Nets - The Yi trade puts them into two top-tier guys land, and Jay-Z can always suit up for the Mid-Level Exception. All the talking heads say that the Nets should bring in Boozer, but I feel this makes no sense. They should target Rudy Gay, or Joe Johnson, because without Lebron this team will not contend for a year or so, and they should let Derrick Favors develop starting at the four.
-Sign Rudy Gay and David Lee.

Clippers - Donald Sterling would literally have to die, and all signs point to him living to 130 or higher.
-Blake Griffin turns out to be really good. Al-Farouq Aminu invests in contacts, and contributes right away

















Knicks - Sorry fellas...really. Might as well bring back Stephon Marbury
-Sign Josh Childress in an interesting twist, who later gets traded for more expiring contracts* (Come back to this space in June  next year)
     Seriously, their largest stabs at Lebron have been a button system fans can press to add to a 'tally' supporting him, making a limited edition Ring Pop, and telling him their city is nice. 


You may have noticed the abscence of Bosh-a-saur in that recap, this is because  I have a belief (or far-fetched hope) that the Cavs new management team will make the best possible move, instead of a good move, and orchestrate a sign-and-trade with Toronto. There would be other details, but the jist would look like:

Jamison, Williams  - FOR - Bosh, Calderon (Dy-no-mite!)



That's a definite upgrade in two positions for our system, it gives Toronto a good replacement and a large contract to shed next year, and a gunner in Mo that allows Turkoglo to play point forward for the Raptors. It gives the Cavs a pass-first point who allows Lebron to finally play off-ball. Oh, it also gives us one of the league's best bigs as a small bonus.

IF that plays out, or in some similar fashion, we are looking at a drastically different East. The Celtics will officially be in reconstruction, the Magic (who may swap Vince Carter for Gilbert and a 3-year membership to his gun club) still at the top, a vastly improved Cleveland team, and newly emerged contenders in the Heat, Bulls, and perhaps even the Nets. The Lakers remain the favorites out west.

Speaking of World Wide Wes, who is he, and how much does David Stern hate him?




There are countless other sites that can break down in depth scenarios about free agency, if you would like to peruse further. Unfortunately, many of these theories will be proven wrong in the coming month. Some teams will be very happy, and some will be very sad. 

So I leave you with this


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